Sorry About The Drought

Sorry, It’s been so long since we have posted anything… we actually have been working on several articles but none got to the semi polished phase when we like to publish them. So assuming the holidays don’t kill us you should have lots of content headed your way soon!

Tonight however i was inspired by a bad email forward… it brought out the old Scott sarcasm — i mean wittiness. Sorry to the poor soul that sent this too me: you know i love you to death but i just can’t resist posting this. I did edit a bit out to save the weary.

To: Insane number of email addresses… here are the email (names not address) from just one of the hopefuls here because it is insane that how many people he sent it too and the industry wonders why the internet is being to choke….
Subject: RE: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news

You don’t actually have to read this… but i kinda reference it so i included it… have you ever noticed how quickly email forwards breakdown in formatting? It’s almost as if the creators of email or the internet itself is trying to protect us from the gratuitous forwards content…

>>>> THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USATODAY – IT IS FOR REAL >>>> >>>> Subject: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! >>>> >>>> >>>> !!!! It was on the news! Kathy South Alcoa – EHS Maintenance >>>> Coordinator Phone: 765/771 – 3547 Pager : 765/420 – 6575 >>>> >>>> To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is >>>> from my good friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney. >>>>If she says that this will work – It will work. After all, What have you >>>>got to lose? SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I’m an >>>>attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real Rest assured AOL >>>>and >>>>Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a >>>>multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by >>>>PepsiCo >>>>against General Electric not too long ago. >>>>Dear Friends; Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates >>>>sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later. >>>>Microsoft >>>>and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make >>>>sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, >>>>Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test. >>>>When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it >>>>( If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period. >>>>For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you >>>>$245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, >>>>Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives >>>>it, You will be paid $241..00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact >>>>you for your address and then send you a check. >>>>Regards. Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations >>>> 1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX >>>> 292-1085 >>>> I thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this >>>> e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and >>>> withindays, I receive a check for $24,800.00. You need to respond >>>> before >>>> the beta testing is over. If anyone can affoard this, Bill gates is the >>>> man. >>>>It’s all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people >>>>as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00 We’re not going to >>>>help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little >>>>something for our time. My brother’s girlfriend got in on this a few >>>>months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed >>>>me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped “Paid in >>>>full” >>>>Like i said before, I know the law, and this is for real. >>>> Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the >>>> largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains >>>> the >>>> most widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test. >>>>When you forward this e-mail to friends, Intel can and will track it( if >>>>you are a Microsoft Windows user)for a two week time period. >>>>TRy it; What have you got to lose???? >>>> >>>> Langdon Accounting & Tax Service, Inc. >>>>Allen E. Langdon, Ph.D.

So here was my witty response:


Here is an invoice for $8.95 for the billable time i wasted reading and responding to this email. You should know better than to believe that A) tracking email is possible and B) anyone would pay anyone else to forward email… if you don’t pay you will of course lose even more money in a lawsuit much like that guy Jimmy and those damn people that wouldn’t build my house… trust me i know about this stuff ’cause my wife is a 3rd year law student… I can get away with this outlandish practice of billing for my time due to the precident set by 9th circuit court that was talked about on TV — and if talk radio has taught us anything it’s that we can trust everything we hear on TV to be the gospel truth — even the news. Besides if people are still dumb enough to be using AOL they are probably dumb enough to send me $9… especially if i promise that it will bring them good luck or perhaps a chance that large sums of money will get sent to them… from a somewhere. Now that i think about it I should probably charge a S&H fee… so i guess that brings the total $15, but if you act now you can send me two checks and we will give you free shipping. That’s right! Double your luck and your chances of getting a large check for only $10 more.

:P Scott

UPDATE: Apparently the person that sent me this did it as a joke since I have requested GOOD Fwds… I’m still sketical :P