This was a fairly funny forward I got recently. I improved it a bit and voila:

Things I’ve Learned Living In Tennessee:

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

Onced and twiced are words.

It’s not a shopping cart; It’s a buggy.

Ice tea/Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals.

The above statement is actually redundant; Iced tea IS sweet tea. If you order tea in TN you will get sweet tea. If you specify unsweet tea, your tea will come with a spoon and an assortment of sweeteners so you can sweeten it personally.

Backards and forards means "I know everything about you."

Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "Goin’ Wal-Martin" or Goin’ to "Wally World".

A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola or pop…it’s a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"

You know you’re from Tennessee if:

You measure distance in minutes.

When you give directions you use landmarks that used to be there. Example: head down this road and turn left were the hardware store used to be…

You’ve ever had to switch from "Heat" to "A/C" two or three times a day.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car…for your OWN car.

You know whether another Tennessean is from east, middle, or west Tennessee as soon as they open their mouth.

You know what cowtippin’ and snipe huntin’ are.

Your favorite shirt is orange cause you can wear it to the game on Saturday, and huntin’ on Sunday and never have to change!

Thanks Sarah