The eldest children in families tend to develop higher I.Q.’s than their siblings, researchers are reporting today, in a large study that could settle more than a half-century of scientific debate about the relationship between I.Q. and birth order.

This is, of course, old hat to some like myself. It’s about time researchers caught up with what us first born have know for years: we rock! Intellectually of course.

What I didn’t realize was that I apparently my 3% of superfluous brain matter by not attending a “elite private liberal-arts college [instead of] a less exclusive public one”. And all the while I thought I was smart for getting an equivalent education for $100,000 less. (Do student loans make you sharper?)

Unfortunately for “late borns” the trend seems to continue – downward. “Eldest children scored an average of 103.2, about 3 percent higher than second children (100.3) and 4 percent higher than thirdborns (99.0).” But not to fear younglings: while first born children win more Nobel Prizes, “younger siblings often live more adventurous lives” than there older counterparts.

Parents are apparently mostly to blame. While most parents are pushing their eldest to cure cancer, younger siblings must resort to base jumping to get needed attention. Still many researchers are very, very excited about this study. Frank J. Sulloway, had this to say:

“I consider these two papers the most important publications to come out in this field in 70 years; it’s a dream come true.”

Sulloway, a psychologist at the Institute of Personality and Social Research at the University of California, Berkeley has obviously not had sex in many years.