Seriously, this is for real:

Park department staff is recommending reducing bonfires at the two beaches this summer and possibly banning them altogether next year.

The park board will hear the recommendation Thursday, and the city plans to run public-service announcements and hand out brochures later this month about the effects of bonfires on global warming.

According to a memo to the park board from the staff released Thursday, “The overall policy question for the Board is whether it is good policy for Seattle Parks to continue public beach fires when the carbon … emissions produced by thousands of beach fires per year contributes to global warming.”

Under the proposal, the department in July would reduce the number of fire rings at Alki from six currently to three and at Golden Gardens from 12 to seven.

Then later this year, the department would consider banning bonfires or requiring fees and permits to reduce the number of bonfires next year.

Now if you’re not either screaming at the computer screen or laughing hysterically right now, you have no idea what is going on.  First the laughing: a bonfire has about the the global environmental impact of a butterfly fart.  I’m sorry but this really needs to be put into perspective for those of you that didn’t pay attention in science class.  If small fires could wipe out the climate on this planet – we wouldn’t have even made it to the industrial revolution.  (wow think of the eco-sins we could have avoided then!)  Also all of the bonfires in the entire state of Washington over the last 20 years combined into one Texas A&M style bonfire it would still be insignificant compared to a single forest fire.

The screaming: this is not an honest attempt to stop the hoax of global warming! This is an attack on personal freedom.  Anyone with actual scientific knowledge would concede the fact that a bonfire is near the bottom of any list of polluters.  A bomb delivered to a single factory in China would offset the carbon emissions of all the bonfires in America for the next 100 years or so.  Its not about pollution its about control.

Also of note: the Park Service is taking no steps to ban wild fires in the area.  But since that neither grows government power nor chips away at personal rights – no ban was really expected.