Local Barbie

A new crazy has been sweeping the nation. As part of the resurgence of Barbie(TM) to a position of dominance in the doll/collectable market, many locally targeted Barbies have been created as micro-manufacturing techniques make them cost effective.

So while this is more for the locals… we here at ScottSoapbox saw it as an opportunity to thumb our nose at all the NY elite hipsters that think the rest of us actually CARE what's going on in a city that's irrelavant to 88% of the country.

Farragut Barbie

This princess Barbie is only available at English Village. She comes with optional Volvo sedan or luxury SUV and lives in a waterfront dream house. Available with or without facelift and tummy tuck and comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags and sorority T-shirts.

Farragut Ken

comes with optional Clark's Wallabees and an assortment of The North Face fleeces/jackets. He is available at Tennessee Outdoors.

Oliver Springs Barbie

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of

Lake City Barbie's (discontinued) house.

Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss, three cans of hairspray, 48-color eye shadow and eye liner kit and a see-through halter top. Comes with Barbie's dream double wide trailer. Available at Wal-Mart. Continue reading

News From The Front Lines

The latest from the front lines… sans the media bias. hello. i have arrived back to my fob safe and sound. since it has past, i think i can tell you where i was. we went on a trip to baghdad for supplies. i can't get more specific than that though. i actually had a great time. i got to use a toliet that flushes! it was wonderful. i also had a day off while there and was able to get some gifts. i enjoyed a burger king double whopper and french fries too. the chow hall was magnificant. they had a milkshake bar! four hot meals served a day with several choices. i loved it. at my fob, i get t rat meals for breakfast and dinner, with a mre for lunch. mmmhhhhmmmmm, wholesome goodness! thanks to all who send me stuff so i can live off pringles and snickers. anyway, i will surely volunteer for that mission everytime from now on! thnigs are getting more intense with the elections closing in. we are anticipating a few days of no sleep and constant business. i wonder what the big difference is! really, i don't have it too bad most of the time. i am able to get on the phone or computer usually once a day. amy seems to enjoy the phone calls and webcam sessions. well, that's it for now. thanks for all your prayers. keep them up, our attorney fees are getting outrageous. but hopefully with the help of the newest addition to the attoney team, the next appearence in court will be the last. thanks don All men die, some men never really live. Don's attorneys are for a State Side matter unrelated to the war.

Old News From The Front Lines

I received some news direct from Iraq today and I realized that I somehow didn't post the last email from Iraq I received back in December. My bad. So here is the old one, with the new one to come tommorrow: well here i am. i have made it to my destination safe and sound. flying on a c130 was a trip. i thought my eyes were going to explode due to the great pressure that built up in my head. they descended very rapidly. it hurts for hours later. then we flew on a shcnook or however you spell it. that was cool! i wish i haed a camera for the recording of the counrtyside and seeing us fly seemingly 30 feet or less above the ground. i twas really cool. first helicopter ride.  things are a little crazy right now. there are too manyt people here for this small area. in about three weeks we will lose all the guys that are leftover from the previous occupation. but until then, it is crowded. but not too bad. i have to live in a small chew with four other guys until i get my own with the other medic.  i don't knw anything yet about the phones. they are supposed to work with the internet thing i got, but i've heard rumor about that company going bankrupt! so i'll find out more and tell you later. don't send me any calling cards – they don't work here. you have to buy a certain kind, and if they are still running, you can recharge them. i'll give out the pin to amy if someone wants to recharge it.  food right now is not very good. it is t rats (military food). but the same people at anaconda are supposed to some here soon to take over chow. that was some of the best food i've ever had. so i'm looking forward to taht. as usual, the army doesn't know where our bags are. so i have just my aid bag with me. no shower materials, dental stuff, change of clothes, etc. i really hope it gets here real soon. i'm going to start smelling pretty bad soon.  don't send me anything until i can give you a good address. if you already sent something, don't worry about it. they are talking about breaking up our company and making a different one that sounds a lot better anyway, but with a different name. i don't know about all that yet, but i will. as of right now, just hang on. my name and fob will still be the same, so even if you do send something out, it should get to me…theorically. that's why i say wait.  anyway, i have 30 minutes on the computer at a time. so i'm gonna go. hope everyone if faring well. don't worry about me, so many others before me have had it much worse. its not that bad. i don't want a summer home here, but not too bad. we'll see how i feel in the summer though!  don  All men die, some men never really live. Oh and did I mention that I didn't edit this email in any way? Yeah, let's just chaulk it up to hurrying w/ little computer time and not go there. Ok? :D

Funny Women Quotes

"Inside every older lady is a younger lady – wondering what the hell happened." — Cora Harvey Armstrong

"Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies." — unknown

"If you can't be a good example – then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." — Catherine

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb – and I'm also not blonde." — Dolly Parton

Thanks Shay