Author Archives: scottsoapbox

Why Men Are Happier

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I always knew this to be true. In fact one of my sayings is: not a day goes by that I’m not glad I’m a guy. Hmm. I should probably add that to the quotes section…

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
In fact, the world is your urinal.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental — $100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, bbrster, or mangle your feet.
One mood — all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the sbrghtest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in pubbrc.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
You’re supposed to have facial hair.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your brfe.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45 minutes. No wonder men are happier!

Thanks Katie

A Happy To See You Lamp

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So i saw this and I couldn’t help but laugh… is that a lamp in your pocket or…

The Gravity from Front is a concept design (at least, I think it’s just a concept) for an interactive lamp that reacts to your presence. When you’re not in the room, it lays down and goes to sleep. When you enter, it wakes up, stands and turns on to give you light

Stella Awards Take 2

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As noted below, we have recently been informed that the Stella Awards FW is a fake, a fraud, a mockery of the email forwarding system… ok not actually a mockery as ALMOST ALL FWs are lies concocked by devious emailers. So that goes with the territory but it does point out a definate complacency on my part to protect you — our readers. Anyway, to make up for my hasty endorsement of urban legends I have been given some additional court cases (real this time for sure! ;D ) that will lift your spirits about our judical system, but not by much. Sure in the END these people didn’t get their money, but they came darn close. And these have come from a source other than an email forward so one can’t simply laugh and then find comfort it the fact that they most likely were made up (since they were contained in an email forward — can anyone say “send this to 10 people and MS will give you $$$”) and continue to have some misplaced faith in the system.

In March 1995, a San Diego man unsuccessfully attempted to sue the city and Jack Murphy Stadium for $5.4 million over something than can only be described as a wee problem — Robert Glaser claimed the stadium’s unisex bathroom policy at a Billy Joel and Elton John concert caused him embarrassment and emotional distress thanks to the sight of a woman using a urinal in front of him. He subsequently tried “six or seven” other bathrooms in the stadium only to find women in all of them. He asserted he “had to hold it in for four hours” because he was too embarrassed to share the public bathrooms with women.

A San Carlos, California, man sued the Escondido Public Library for $1.5 million. His dog, a 50-pound Labrador mix, was attacked November 2000 by the library’s 12-pound feline mascot, L.C., (also known as Library Cat). The case was heard in January 2004, with the jury finding for the defendant.

In 1994, a student at the University of Idaho unsuccessfully sued that institution over his fall from a third-floor dorm window. He’d been mooning other students when the window gave way. It was contended the University failed to provide a safe environment for students or to properly warn them of the dangers inherent to upper-story windows.

In 1993, McDonald’s was unsuccessfully sued over a car accident in New Jersey. While driving, a man who had placed a milkshake between his legs, leaned over to reach into his bag of food and squeezed the milkshake container in the process. When the lid popped off and spilled half the drink in his lap, this driver became distracted and ran into another man’s car. That man in turn tried to sue McDonald’s for causing the accident, saying the restaurant should have cautioned the man who had hit him against eating while driving.

Although the cases cited above were all eventually dismissed, they still managed to work their way to the highest levels of our court system.

Thanks Travis