Welcome To The World, Here’s $500

California is looking to pass a law that would give EVERY baby a $500 savings account. And they do mean every baby, since it will be "regardless of their parents’ income or immigration status." I’m sorry, what? Come to America to have your baby illegals!! Not only will we allow your babies birth create an "anchor" for your immigration status – we’ll throw in $500 cash. Has the government gone completely mad?

Sadly, it gets much worse when you actually think about this proposal. Setting the illegals question aside lets look at the math behind this "encourage savings" project that will only cost California tax payers $285,000,000 each year. The article states that "If families added $50 a month to the state’s initial contribution, the savings account would grow to nearly $17,500 at 5 percent interest over 18 years." ACTUALLY, if you know how to use a financial calculator (and set it to monthly payments of $50 instead of yearly payments of $600), the account will really grow to $18,687 (though you are supposed to give back the initial $500 at that point so $18,187). What it fails to point out is that if families saved the $50/month WITHOUT the governments $500 it would grow to $17,460. Well suddenly all that growth doesn’t look quite as impressive does it?

Beyond that, you can simply visit your local bank to discover that a 5% savings account is a tad optimistic. I called my broker and found my current money market rate to be 4.875% – which is actually up with rising interest rates. So really 3-4% is a more realistic CD/savings account rate. Change the ROI to 3.5% and the governments magic $500’s interest drops from the already low $727 to a mere $438.

But wait, there’s more! When you take into account inflation the money is worth even less. Inflation in this country is typically 2-3%, so we’ll use 2.5%. This means $438 of free government interest in 18 years will be worth the equivolent of $98 in today’s money. Everyone give the governement a standing "O" – they came up with a way to give everyone $98 for college, and it only costs $285 MILLION dollars a year

Now I hate to beat a dead horse, but there are a few more glaring problems with this great idea. First of all, undoubtedly the program’s cost stated in the article only accounts for the actual $500 of savings multiplied by the number of babies born. On top of that you will also have the efficient government administration of millions of tiny savings accounts. Think social security. And speaking of social security, we all know what happend to the money being saved for the good of the people. That’s right all the money was raided and replaced with a thick stack of IOUs. Don’t think it won’t happen here.

If the government wants to encourage savings it should try teaching math in school. I mean practical math. Financial math. Barring that, it could run community service announcement ads extolling the virtues of savings. This would in the end prove less expensive and more effective than this bill.

What the government should really try to increase is INVESTING not savings. Let’s take our earlier example of $50/month for 18 years and instead of saving it at 3 or 5% lets invest it. A good mutual fund will average around 12% over the long run. Invested, that $50/month payment would grow to $37,893. Adjusted for inflation your looking at the buying power of $28,369. And since the government didn’t give you the wooping $500 head start, you can spend that money on anything you want – free of government restrictions. Oh but the government will take 15% of your gain in taxes to help them pay for programs that encourage illegal immigration -oh- I mean savings.

Government Ban On Girl Scout Cookies?

I came across this story looking for something completely different, but it was too good to pass up. Meme Roth the President of the National Action Against Obesity wants to sove the obesity problem by having the government OUTLAW all junk food!

She apparently believes that the only way people can avoid being fat is if they don’t have the chance to eat junk food. Which is stupid for two reasons: 1) you can eat more than your daily amounts in calories in Pasta, Cheese, Bread, Ham, or even Tofu (though the last would be a feat). 2) SKINNY PEOPLE LIKE COOKIES TOO! Don’t punish us along with the fat people!

She also believes that once your fat you will never lose the weight and if you some how do manage to lose the weight you will gain it back — yeah she’s an optimist. My personal experience totally disagrees with her however, to qoute Eric Cartman: "Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I’m living proof. (Beefcake! Beefcake!)"

Anyway this lady is completely off her rocker and the most anti-cookie person I believe I’ve ever met. Hey Meme, I currently have 3 large candy bowls in the house: the guest bowl, my personal candy bowl, and of course the poker room’s peanut M&M bowl. AND I’m wearing a belt so that my size 32 jeans dont’ sag down too far (I’m too old and too white for "sagging") so keep your governmental bans off my goodies! As a side note, can anyone explain to me how sagging is still around in its second decade? I was sure that fad would have faded long ago.

200K, Yay!

Whew-whoo! 200,000 page views. Thanks to all our readers! This reminds me of when my celica roled past 200,000 miles… not to mention when my CRX roled past 200,000 miles… What? Its not my fault the affordable cars had a lot of miles. Besides a Toyota or Honda need 100k just really get broken in… :)

Presidents Day Quiz

In honor of Presidents Day we have a little history quiz…

Someone’s signature is often refered to as their "John Hancock" – why did this expression originate?

John Hancock was the first person to sign the declaration of independance AND his signature was huge (and ornate) compared to the others.

Bonus Points: Who do we have to thank that John was not captured by the British in 1775?

In April 1775, Paul Revere got John Hancock & Samuel Adams out of Lexington hours before the British arrived. Samuel Adams, of course, is famous for his ferverent boycott of tea including the Boston Tea Party protest. A lesser known fact, is that Adams’ motivation behind the tea boycott was not freedom from British appression or taxes, but creating an increased demand for his beer. ;)

Adding this quote to the archive seemed appropriate: "John Hancock….it’s Herbie Hancock." – Tommy Boy.

The Price Is Wrong

Wow. I just witnessed some real stupidity. Today on the Price Is Right, contestant Jose displayed what we’re calling "bad math". After making it to the showcase showdown, Jose was forced to guess the total amount of his showcase (typically between $10-30k) without going over.

Adding up "all of it" (as he put it) turned out to be long chore. After much prodding from Bob Barker, Jose announced his total: $250,000. Mr Barker politely told him to "reconsider" his bid — probably because the showcase displays didn’t have enough digits to display such a gross over-estimate. With a tad more prodding, Jose re-estimated his showcase at $60,000.

Shortly later the other contestant smiled and promptly bid $1 for her showcase. Probably making Price Is Right history and securing her victory.