Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day

In response the the Georgia Legislature believing it prudent to move Georgia’s northern border into Tennessee, the Mayor of Chattanooga issued the following proclamation:

PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS, it has come to pass that the heavens are shut up and a drought of Biblical proportions has been visited upon the Southern United States, and

WHEREAS, the parched and dry conditions have weighed heavily upon the State of Georgia and sorely afflicted those who inhabit the Great City of Atlanta, and

WHEREAS, the leaders of Georgia have assembled like the Children of Israel in the desert, grumbled among themselves and have begun to cast longing eyes toward the north, coveting their neighbor’s assets, and

WHEREAS, the lack of water has led some misguided souls to seek more potent refreshment or for other reasons has resulted in irrational and outrageous actions seeking to move a long established and peaceful boundary, and

WHEREAS, it is deemed better to light a candle than curse the darkness, and better to offer a cool, wet kiss of friendship rather than face a hot and angry legislator gone mad from thirst, and

Whereas, it is feared that if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel,

NOW THEREFORE, In the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that

I Ron Littlefield, Mayor of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee,

Do hereby Proclaim that Wednesday, February 27, 2008 shall be known as

“Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day” (Chattanoogan.com)

This country would be better off if we had a few more leaders with the balls to call out political tomfoolery with the right amount of sarcasm.

The Tyranny of the Positive Attitude

Thank God.  Finally after years of tyranny, American optimism is going to be put in its place.  Complaining in groups and with song is really the better way to go.  The Complaints Choir started in Birmingham, England but have spread:

[To] choirs in Helsinki, where singers bemoaned boring dreams, and one in Budapest, Hungary, which ranted about a neighbor holding folk-dance practice in an upstairs apartment.

After starting more than 20 such choirs elsewhere, the Helsinki couple say they traveled here to end “the tyranny of the positive attitude in America.” …

“When everyone’s singing your complaint, it’s very cathartic,” the 38-year-old Chicagoan said after Saturday’s performance. “It’s as if you have a lot of support for your complaint.”

Your Cash Is No Good Here

Apple is no longer accepting cash for iPhone purchases, as a way to try and prevent people from unlocking them for non-AT&T networks. Apparently Steve missed the place where it says “Legal tender for all debts, public and private” right there on your money.

Well, I’m sure someone else will notice this and sue Apple appropriately.

UPDATE: Apple is also not accepting gift cards for iphones as that could have been purchased with cash.  Yeah its getting a little crazy in here.