Ineffective Congress Criticizes Political Progress

Word has been leaking out that the surge in Iraq is working better than anyone – except perhaps General Petraeus – expected. The military progress has been so good that mainstream media is no longer able to keep a lid on it. But now that the first few days of shock have worn off, the Dems and the media elite have a new mantra: military progress is great, but we need political progress. (though back when elections were held and constitutions formed, the same pundits pointed to a lack of military progress)

Historical rhetoric aside, I find it pretty ironic that this Congress thinks it can school other politicians on progress. Let’s take a look at what our congress has accomplished:

  • “1st 100 Hours” Promises were broken within a week (congress was going take less time off and work more)
  • Of the “Six for ’06” bills touted by House Democrats, only one has become law. And that one, which raises the minimum wage, passed not on its own, but only because it was tacked onto the Iraq funding bill.
  • The Dems have refused to follow their personally dubbed “voter mandate” to end the war in Iraq.
  • Majority Leader Reid is working hard to remove all mentions of earmarks from the ethic rules revision (earmarks ie personal pork was a linchpin of the “culture of corruption”)
  • Achieved an all time record for lowest approval rating ever. (14% for the official poll, though Zogby now has them at 13%)

So compared to the greatest democracy on the planet, I’d say the Iraqi government is really getting into the swing of things with delays and silly political drama. A secret of democracy, though, is that it tends to distract all the “leaders” of the country with politics, which leaves them much less time for indiscriminately killing the citizenry.

But perhaps the Democratic congress referring to the area where they have made a lot of headway: starting investigations!

According to White House spokesperson Scott Stanzel, the Democrats have launched over 300 investigations, had over 350 requests for documents and interviews and they have had over 600 oversight hearings in just about 100 days.

ASIDE: Unfortunately for the Democrats, none of these investigations have found ANYTHING. Which can lead to only one of two conclusions. 1) The Bush Administration is one of the most well run and ethical administrations ever and the Democrats should stop wasting their time investigating them. 2) The Bush administration though vile and corrupt is quite effective at hiding any and all evidence of their crimes from the inept investigations of congress. Therefore the Democrats should stop wasting their time investigating them. Either way you end up in the same place. The Dems should really get back to the business of protecting social security from privatization and making sure illegal immigrants don’t have to pay out-of-state tuition.

DUI Tennessee style

Another funny forward… (Can you tell I’m cleaning out my inbox?)

Only a person in TENNESSEE could think of this!

From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this absolutely true story.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Paris , Tennessee . After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally, he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night), flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle for ward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.”

“I doubt it,” said the truly proud Hillbilly . “Tonight I’m the designated decoy.”

Thanks Rachel

Ah Property Law

A humorous email regarding the legal in-eptitude of government bureaucracy…

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral.

The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:

(Actual letter):
“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.  While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual Letter):
“Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area(read at my HomeSpot blog), would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained From France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the Privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.

The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus ‘ expedition. Now the Pope, as I sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA.

I hope you find God’s original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?”

He got the loan.

Thanks Andrea

Amp’d Ain’t

Apparently it takes more than being cool to run a mobile telecommunications company.  As Amp’d as aptly proven.  The sad part is that since they were renting the lines from Verizon they were really just reselling other peoples phones & service… how hard is that?

Maybe they spent too much on those wicked-awesome-urban-cred commercials.  Maybe they thought being broke would buy them even more urban-cred. ;)