iPhone Theft Attempt

Here’s something you don’t see everyday… a thief tries to swipe an iPhone during a live interview so that he can own it 9 hours sooner than everyone else.

Unfortunately for him, he’s an idiot and grabs the Fox News mic instead.

TCAP Excellence

Here is a great example of Government efficiency:

We are taking TCAPS this week and there was a problem with a question. Now evidently, instead of just throwing the question out when scoring the test they chose the MUCH SIMPLER option: Notify every single middle school in the state of tennessee, and then have the message relayed to every single middle school
teacher in the state of tennessee.

Here is the simple solution offered by the TN Department of Education:

Once you have completed testing this morning. Please have 8th grade students with version 7 test booklet make the following correction. Have them check page 62, question #36 in math and make sure they bubbled on the answer sheet correctly. If a student chose an H or G as the answer to question #36 they need to do the following: (G and H are reversed–have students bubble H in H and G in G) If a student did not chose and H or G answer, then they do not need to do anything. Please read the attached e-mail from the state department. Please let Mr. XXXX know if you have further questions regarding correcting this test booklet and answer sheet error

– XXXX (TN Middleschool Teacher)


Evidently answer G and answer H are BOTH FALSE!  So we had to make sure that students who missed the question got scored missing the question with the appropriate incorrect response.
– XXXX (TN Middleschool Teacher)

Sounds like we need to help out some people in the government — maybe a new bureaucrat left behind program  ;)

Think Your Idol Will Win? Don’t Bet On It

Or do? As Tony Suprano would say, for all you degenerate gamblers out there… now you can bet on all things American Idol. Not just the winnner (since I’m sure thats been going on for years). Apparently Betus.com has posted 6.5 to 1 odds that Antonella Barba will not be booted off after semi-racy pics of some that is supposed to be her showed up on the web.

I know this shouldn’t surprise me, as degenerate gamblers (not all gambers just the degenerates) will bet on anything… But it still does.

Government Ban On Girl Scout Cookies?

I came across this story looking for something completely different, but it was too good to pass up. Meme Roth the President of the National Action Against Obesity wants to sove the obesity problem by having the government OUTLAW all junk food!

She apparently believes that the only way people can avoid being fat is if they don’t have the chance to eat junk food. Which is stupid for two reasons: 1) you can eat more than your daily amounts in calories in Pasta, Cheese, Bread, Ham, or even Tofu (though the last would be a feat). 2) SKINNY PEOPLE LIKE COOKIES TOO! Don’t punish us along with the fat people!

She also believes that once your fat you will never lose the weight and if you some how do manage to lose the weight you will gain it back — yeah she’s an optimist. My personal experience totally disagrees with her however, to qoute Eric Cartman: "Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I’m living proof. (Beefcake! Beefcake!)"

Anyway this lady is completely off her rocker and the most anti-cookie person I believe I’ve ever met. Hey Meme, I currently have 3 large candy bowls in the house: the guest bowl, my personal candy bowl, and of course the poker room’s peanut M&M bowl. AND I’m wearing a belt so that my size 32 jeans dont’ sag down too far (I’m too old and too white for "sagging") so keep your governmental bans off my goodies! As a side note, can anyone explain to me how sagging is still around in its second decade? I was sure that fad would have faded long ago.

The Price Is Wrong

Wow. I just witnessed some real stupidity. Today on the Price Is Right, contestant Jose displayed what we’re calling "bad math". After making it to the showcase showdown, Jose was forced to guess the total amount of his showcase (typically between $10-30k) without going over.

Adding up "all of it" (as he put it) turned out to be long chore. After much prodding from Bob Barker, Jose announced his total: $250,000. Mr Barker politely told him to "reconsider" his bid — probably because the showcase displays didn’t have enough digits to display such a gross over-estimate. With a tad more prodding, Jose re-estimated his showcase at $60,000.

Shortly later the other contestant smiled and promptly bid $1 for her showcase. Probably making Price Is Right history and securing her victory.