Traveling down I – 40 I was awaken from my normal contemplation by the sound of my Bel radar detector… not that my speed was in excess of the limit of course… scanning the horizon, I saw an amusing site. A seventeen foot size truck was pulled over by a state trooper. But this was no ordinary truck, it was a Krispy Kreme truck. The site was just – fitting. I wish I could have snapped a pic of the scene, but that wasn't possible as I wizzed by at Interstate speeds. But I think you can see it you mind. :D

So I got a taste of the 70s oil crisis today. Stopping at a gas station before a trip up North, I noticed several pumps with bags on them and a plethora cars at the other pumps. I found an open pump and pulled up. I soon discovered the pumps with bags were not defective — just out of gas. Mine was close. I was able to buy 29 cents of 87 octane before it went dry. The sad thing was that was less than 1/10 of a gallon. Then I switched to 89 octane and finished it off with a mere $4. Finally, I switched 92 as I really need more than a gallon of gas to make my trip. Unsurprisingly, there was plenty of 92. Nothing like gas breaking $3/gal for people to reconsider weither their car "needs" the good gas. So after a sum total of $35 to fill my tank for a 200 mile drive, I took a brief moment to thank the Lord for my corporate gas card. (never leave home without it)

So apparently there is a school that is near a school where a former CNN correspondent takes his kid. At this first school in Marietta, GA there is a bench, and the bench says "Jesus Loves You". The CNN correspondant noticed this one day and immediately contacted the school to inquire about the legalities of such a "overly religous" bench. Which of course is quite a nebulous question after the unambiguous ruling from the Supreme Court on the Ten Commandments. Now, Rush Limbaugh heard about this story and thought they should change the bench to "Allah Loves You" because then no one will be able to change it. This, of course, is a crack at the overtly religous treatment of the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. Where we give the detainees a Karan and a prayer mat and religiously appropriate meals — that have been blessed by a Muslim cleric, of course. But I think I have one better. In spirit of Dick Durban's appology for his Nazi comments (see yesterday if you missed them): Some may believe my remarks crossed the line. To them I extend my heartfelt apologies… I offer my apologies for those who were offended by my words… – Dick Durban (emphasis added) I think they should change the bench to say this: "Jesus Loves You, Unless This Offends You, Then He Doesn't". That's so great, I think I'll claim full copyright to it and make some T-shirts. :D This statement mocks the whole PC attitude that is choking our culture AND points out just how rediculous the stamping out of Christianity has become. Eight-year-old girls dressed like soror-stitutes (sorority + prostitute), welfare recepiants with better medical coverage than working people and the claim that the 9/11 victims deserved it. — THESE are offensive. How does one rationalize being offended by a statement that a diety cares about you? And this "undo influence" arguement is laughable as well… Yes I was walking along, keeping to my secular humanistic self, when I saw this bench, and well, it changed my life! Everything became clear and I've been a born-again right-wing Christian zealot every since… Right.

• School bench message said too religious

UPDATE: For those of you actually worried about how such a bench would end up at a public school here's how it happened: The school ran a fundraiser and a Christian organization donated money required to get an engraved bench. It's actually quite appropriate since the benches are oft left in memory of someone or simply state the name of the person that provided the money for it. In this case it was both. But instead of simply inscribing the name of that person, they instead put his name and his feelings about others. (They probably had to pay extra for those extra letters).

So I have avoided pointing out the histeria in Dick Durban's speech on the Senate floor, because it was TOO easy. But now, since I am alluding to it in another article, I felt it appropriate to bring any lagarts out there up to speed. Below is Durban's speech with my comments in italics. Durban is quoting from an FBI report that the FBI can find no record of… to point out that our soldiers are treating the terrorists like the Nazis would… …I quote from his report: On a couple of occasions, I entered interview rooms to find a detainee chained hand and foot in a fetal position to the floor, with no chair, food or water. Most times they urinated or defecated on themselves, and had been left there for 18-24 hours or more. John Stewart answered this one brillantly on the daily show. He pointed out that chaining someone to the floor so that someone had to crap on themselves would have been the nicest thing the Nazi's had ever done. He went on to taunt that Nazi prisonners would have rejoiced at "Shackles Day" On one occasion, the air conditioning ( AC is something our troops do without in the deserts of Iraq ) had been turned down so far and the temperature was so cold in the room, that the barefooted detainee was shaking with cold. This happens across America every day… wives made to shiver by their husbands turning the AC down too low… perhaps this is where the military torturers learned this vile technique On another occasion, the [air conditioner] had been turned off, making the temperature in the unventilated room well over 100 degrees… Didn't these guys live in the Desert? Temperatures in Iraq reach 120 degrees in the summer while in Afghanistan, where most of the Gitmo detainnees are from, it can reach 124. On another occasion, not only was the temperature unbearably hot, but extremely loud rap music was being played in the room, and had been since the day before, with the detainee chained hand and foot in the fetal position on the tile floor. Oh my goodness, loud rap music! That certainly parrallels the gas chambers and mass graves of the Nazis. — Seriously though, was this like Snoop Dogg or 50 Cents? Because that would make a difference. If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime — Pol Pot or others — that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners. — Dick "Tough on Terrorism" Durbin, Patriot UPDATE: The FBI "report" (it is now rumored to be an email) has been discredited… anyone having memogate flashbacks?

• Report Discredits F.B.I. Claims of Abuse at Guantánamo Bay